Passing as Male in the Mens Restroom

Stepping into a mens restroom for the first time can be both an exhilarating and intimidating. Passing as males isn’t only about appearance-there’s a social aspect as well.
Characteristically, the womens lounge tends to be more social. In contrast, men have a “get-in, get-out” mindset about bathrooms. Most likely, there will be stalls available for those who are uncomfortable standing at the urinal or who prefer a bit more privacy (as many FtM’s do).  Also, those in the early stages of transitioning, or who haven’t done so at all, may be perfectly safe in the men’s room because the occupants rarely take a second look.  If you look like you belong, no one should question you.
 

Etiquette in the Mens Room

Safety

It’s very important that you are able to pass as male before attempting to use the mens restroom in an unfamiliar environment. LGBT-friendly shops and bars may be an exception to this general rule. Use your instincts. In my personal opinion, I’ve found that the more rural the location, particularly in lower-income rural areas of the deep south, the more concerned I am about safety if someone were to discover that I was trans.

Urinals

If you chose to use the urinal, make sure that you are well-acquainted with using a STP device. In the case that you are comfortable using the urinal, choose one that is not directly next to anyone if possible.  Men tend to spread out as far as possible. Make little to no contact with the man next to you, and under no circumstances look at his penis.

Stalls

Men tend to prefer the urinals for quick bathroom stops. However, don’t let this discourage you from using the stalls. If you become uncomfortable with someone seeing you, you can take more time in the stall and wait for the restroom patrons to leave before you exit.  My dad gave me one of the best mens room pointers: Men don’t use toilet paper after they urinate. Keep that in mind if you use the tissue paper. If you feel the need to avoid detection, you can use the tissue paper to blow your nose first, then continue on about your business. More than likely the other patrons will not be very nosy about your activity in the stall.
If you consistently use the restroom with the same group of people, it’s unlikely that anyone would ask about your stall-using habits, but if someone is really that nosy and you must avoid detection, you could always tell them that you can’t use the urinal because of a genital piercing.
Keep in mind that you can use an STP device in the stall and leave the door cracked open behind you. If someone tries to open the door it will just hit your back. I’ve found that men don’t typically communicate or apologize when this occurs.

Washing your hands

Washing your hands after using the restroom is important because it reduces the spread of infection and communicable viruses. In my experience, there is a greater rate of hand-washing in more professional environments. Always make it a habit to wash your hands unless you must leave the restroom for personal safety or to avoid detection. In general, men do not look each other in the eyes or communicate at the sinks. Use your intuition as a guide. It may be ok to talk with an acquaintance or coworker when exiting the mens room, but let them initiate the conversation until you become more adept at the appropriate interactions for that location.

Locations can affect restroom etiquette

Bars

The cleanliness and friendliness of a bar restroom is going to vary by the establishment. In order to discourage patrons from using narcotics, some bars may leave the restrooms unlocked so that the toilet is exposed. Others may leave the stall doors off. If you’re visiting a dive bar for the first time, scope out the restroom when you arrive. You can always step in to wash your hands or blow your nose. Make a back-up plan if the restroom isn’t going to provide you enough cover to use during your visit at the bar. You may need to scope out an alternate location nearby.

Upscale lounges

I’ve yet to observe a single couch or lounge chair in a mens room. Likewise, I’ve only been in a handful of mens restrooms that have a separate grooming room, whereas many upscale womens restrooms have a powder room. Trendy dance clubs and gentlemens club may have an attendant who sits at the front who provides amenities, such as towels, cologne, and services, such as turning on the faucet or storing your suit jacket. It is customary to tip a dollar for every amenity you accept, besides washing your hands.