6 Months on Testosterone

Diary of an FTM who has been on testosterone for 6 months in the journey to become a man

June 24 , 2005 : 6 Months on Testosterone

6 Months on testosterone Voice Change
This process of taking hormones is amazing. I’m watching and feeling my body change day by day. When I look in the mirror I am beginning to see traces of the person I always thought I was. The look of femininity is fading quickly now. The first four months began the process of changes, but it wasn’t until after that when I along with everyone else truly noticed such a huge change. Yes, friends always used to comment on my voice dropping but it hasn’t been until lately that the changes are overwhelmingly noticeable. My friends are commenting that I’m bulking up and losing my hips and feminine features. My bone structure obviously hasn’t changed, but the muscles have. For instance, my forearms used to have quite a bit of fat on them, but now they are practically rock hard with muscle. The same goes for my calves and upper arms. This month I noticed that my upper body is very clearly beginning to fill out.
As far as hair goes, I am still fairly hairless. This is probably related to the fact that the men in our family aren’t exactly bears. The hair started coming in just after 1 month on testosterone. It made its first appearance around my ankles and then began to fill out and move up my leg. At this point, there is quite a bit of hair around my calf muscles. From there on up it fades out over the knee. I have noticed more hairs on my thighs, but they wouldn’t be considered unusual on a female. Just as well, there are random thick hairs on my upper thigh and smaller hairs along the top of my feet. I recently noticed some hair growth behind my knees…this is interesting.
I pass as male 100% of the time now. Only the people who knew me before refer to me as she. Friends who were having trouble making the change to calling me “he” don’t seem to be having the difficulty that they used to. Also, at the end of 4 Months on testosterone I made the switch over to men’s bathrooms. Before that I picked the restrooms depending on the circumstances.
The change in my sex drive over the course of the last six months has been quite amazing. There is a necessity to sex that there never used to be. As a female I could let the weeks pass on and not think anything of it. Now if I go a day without some sort of sexual gratification and I get uncomfortable. It’s no wonder why men who don’t get sex are grumpy. I hate to say this, but it is now hard not to look at a pretty woman and think something crude. Before starting the hormones this was fairly easy to do, but with my mind in the gutter all the time I’m finding that it is a bit harder to manage. Part of this whole process seems to be learning how to deal with the change in sexual behavior. I’m sure that by the end of the year I will have a much tighter grip on how to deal with this overactive sex drive.

Emotionally the story just keeps getting better and better. Even though I have been referred to as sir many times I still feel exhilarated every time I hear it. I don’t look at my body and feel uncomfortable the way I used to. A big part of this has to do with the change in my body structure. The hips I had before were a target of my hate. I don’t tend to spend so much time thinking about them anymore or worrying whether my pants make them look too big. On the other hand, I am beginning to become more and more uncomfortable with my breasts.

I don’t like to go out around town with them showing. I have gone out to the clubs without my frog bra on and didn’t mind too much there. Otherwise, they are a big X that I try my best to avoid. Part of this change has to do with them beginning to look out of place. Hopefully I will be able to take care of this issue soon with my coming chest surgery.
I am beginning to sense the greater differences between how men and women interact. From what I have experienced, guys interact with greater distance between themselves–not necessarily physically, but more on the speaking level. Girls seem to jump right into things rather than simply stating how things are. With men no longer perceiving me as female, they don’t speak so delicately. I don’t think it’s more games, sports, sex conversation, but there is a matter-of-factness to it that I didn’t experience as a female. I also haven’t gotten the bullshit that I did when out shopping. At the Buick dealership I used to go to there was a man who would always treat me as if I was just a girl who didn’t know what she was talking about. For instance, I brought my car in to the dealership one time and told the man exactly what I needed to have done. He put his hand on my upper back and said “Why don’t you let me worry about that ma’am. We’ll find out what’s wrong and fix it all up for you.” This wasn’t the only man who did this to me at the time. Now it never happens. I walked into that same dealership this week and didn’t get any of the bullshit that they regularly used to throw at me. I told them what I needed and they said “ok” rather than “blah blah blah, ma’am.”

Month 6 changes

Major changes during the past 6 months on testosterone

 

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