5 Months on Testosterone
A transitioning journal about the effects testosterone has on the female body as Corbin prepares for chest surgery
May 6 , 2005 : 17 weeks on Testosterone
Jesse and I are looking forward to seeing Dr. Peter Raphael for the consultation regarding my chest surgery. He seems to be an excellent surgeon and will most likely be the one we choose to do the surgery. His office is located within the state and the hotel costs would be reasonable. Plus, the cost of his surgery is considerably cheaper than Dr. Brownstein. Cut out cost of hotels, travel tickets, and food and Dr. Peter Raphael is easily the cheaper option. He would also be easy to visit in the future if I need any extra work done. Whatever the case, we’ll be seeing him in 10 days for the consultation. Jesse and I are thinking about moving the prospective surgery date up sooner. Instead of Christmas, I would like to have the surgery near the end of this summer. We’ll see how finances work out–that will let us know what we can do.
I just recieved the Pissin Packin Packer from DJ Knows Dick. One of the things I realized after starting the hormones was that although most mens bathrooms have a clean stall to use, not all do. It is especially hard to find a clean stall at the local clubs or bars. In fact, many of the local dive bars don’t have stalls or locked doors. They do this in an attempt to prevent drug use in the bathrooms. Some of the bathrooms are so small that there will be a toilet, urinal, and sink all within spitting distance of each other. Even more disturbing, is that a line will sometimes form when the bars get crowded. This clearly presents issues for a guy like myself. In order to help with these difficulties I decided that it would be a valuable tool to learn how to use an STP just for those nights out. As for now I seem to have the hang of it down pretty well, but I would like it to be second nature before trying it outside of the house. As weird as the idea seems, it is actually pretty cool.
May 27, 2005 : 5 Months on Testosterone
I have been out of town for several weeks on vacation and because of the timing, my shot schedule was interrupted. I’m back on track now. I ended up giving myself the injection without Jesse around this time. It went smoothly and really wasn’t bad at all. Yes, the body has this natural will to avoid stabbing itself with a big needle but honestly, it doesn’t hurt much at all.
Month 5…let me see. I am passing 100% of the time. There’s no way I can walk into a woman’s bathroom anymore. Everyone still thinks that I am 13 and some have even laughed at me when trying to buy liquor. There was one waiter at the Black-Eyed Pea that kept referring to me as a she–I’m not sure where that came from. I must say…high school girls are naughty naughty–they’re as bad or worse than the boys. It ticks me off that the parents always blame the teenage boys when in fact the girls are half the problem.
My voice still cracks, but not as much as it did several months ago. It seems to rise and fall over the weeks rather than over the days. Over the telephone and any intercoms I am always recieved as male.
I am still dealing with slight acne issues. My skin is fairly clear but it is more oily and prone to zits than before the hormones. I’m keeping at it with soap and a loofa sponge. My back on the other hand is a bit more gross (see pictures below). I have little tiny bumps along my backbone where I sweat. It’s fairly under control–I hate thinking what will happen with more time though.
Small hairs that were beginning around my belly button have gotten darker and more spread out. I can see the beginning traces of hair coming in all along my tummy and there is a clear happy trail that all of a sudden showed up. My leg hair is filling in and getting darker as well as spreading up over the knees. It has also weaseled its way along the big bone of my foot. Random dark hairs have sprouted on my inner-upper thigh. There is no sign of arm hair. Those little hairs on my upper chin need to be shaved at least once a week. They are just these small thin dark hairs that do absolutely nothing for masculinity.
The veins along my hands and wrists are more prominent. I actually like it but Jesse isn’t too keen on them. Hopefully they won’t stick out too much.
At this time my breasts are beginning to look out of place with my more masculine appearance. This can be seen in my transition photo gallery. I keep the frog bra on all day long when I am out so that no one can see I have breasts. However, this is causing me distress just knowing that they are there and seeing them when I am at home.
The skin on my body is no longer smooth and silky like it used to be–the acne does play a part in this. I find it much harder to control my skin from having breakouts. Also, my back hasn’t been exposed to the sun, but there are noticably more freckles. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with the hormones, but it seems unusual to get so many freckles in such a short time without going out in the sun.
Changes for Month 5
Passing 100% of the time
Voice not cracking
Hair Growth around ankles/up legs
Hair around belly button and tummy
Hair growth above lips
Weird foot hair
More prominent veins
Young male appearance
Dehydration
Skin Irritation from lack of moisture
Emotionally more secure with appearance