4 Months on Testosterone
A trans mans journey during the first 4 months of hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
April 29, 2005 : 4 Months on Testosterone
Month 4 has been particularly noteworthy because it marks my ability to pass as male almost 100% of the time. My voice hasn’t been jumping up and down every day like it did the first several months, and I appear much more masculine. Friends and family have all mentioned that my face shape has changed and gained more bulk and less baby fat. They also mention the change in my physical appearance such as the more masculine appearance of my arms and body shape. Personally I have noticed a great change in my arms. They appear much more muscular than they ever have and I am beginning to lose the fat and see the muscle all over.
I have been wearing the frog bra every day, which hides my breasts pretty much completely. I now wear undershirts constantly because I seem to sweat more–it keeps my shirts less sticky and helps me to smell fresher. I haven’t had problems with body odor which was an issue of mine in high school. Actually, it was a problem in High School because I was so nervous all the time that I was constantly sweating. I began to use Lady Mitchum deoderant and since making the change have not had problems.
I have small black hairs that are beginning to fill in above my lips. About a month ago the hairs were just at the tip of my lips, but now they are coming in more around my nostrils. I have been shaving them off every once in a while. I’m also beginning to notice blonde hairs along my sideburns much like a young boy would have in elementary school. There is definitely more hair on my legs, especially around my calves. Thin dark hairs run all the way up my thigh–I never used to have any hair there. The hair around my belly button is continuing to fill in, get thicker, and become more noticible.
The acne that was spreading on my upper arms is much more under control. I have been using the loofa sponge fairly religiously but have put no medication on them. When the time comes I will… Also, my face is doing fairly well, but I seem to have more acne on my back. I think it can be safely assumed that the sweat is to blame for this.
Emotionally this has been a tough month, but not because of the hormones. School has been more than a stress but the semester is nearing its end. Certainly my self esteem has increased dramatically–I no longer see myself as too overweight or girly. I’ve struggled for a long time with my more feminine features such as my hips and stomach. I have a naturally curvy figure. The weight on my hips seems to be dropping. I have gained weight but it is certainly not visible. I think that the extra muscle mass is the culprit–this doesn’t bug me at all. In fact, I hope that the fat continues to turn into muscle.
I cannot put into words how wonderful it is to finally be passing as male. I feel like I’ve found my place in the world of boys and girls.
Feeling out of place has been an issue for so long that I doubted it would ever go away and now, day by day, it is. I cannot wait until I have a flat chest and more hair–life is so exciting watching the changes and hearing the responses. I never want to be seen as a girl again–goodbye Jacqueline Elizabeth! Hello Corbin!
Hair : Change : Hair growth on ankles, up legs, and above lips. Hair sprouting all around belly button. Happy Trail starting.
Libido : No Change : High
Voice : Change : Medium/Low : Peaks and Drops throughout the week. Called ‘sir’ over the phone
Sweat : Change : Medium sweating during the day, but a lot when aroused.
Acne : Change : Scattered Acne. Blackheads on nose. Extremely Oily Complexion. Acne along spine.
Skin Smoothness : No Change : Smooth, but dry if not moisterized
Strength : Change : Increase in muscle mass
Energy : No Change : Medium. Will rise with a bit of exercise.
Appetite : No Change : Heavy : Three meals a day + snacks. I eat constantly.
Sleep : No Change : Need for about 13 hours a night. Can sleep all day.
Self-Esteem : Change : High. Issues with female appearance beginning to resolve more.
Attention Span : No Change : Low
Anxiety/Compulsions : No Change : Nail and lip biting.
Menstruation : No Change : None.
Anger Level : No Change : Non-issue. Was an issue during teenage years.
Relationship Issues : No Change : Better : More secure with self
Body Fat : No Change : 26%
Weight : Change 145 lbs
Height : 5’6 feet
Waist : Change 35.5 inches
Thigh : 24.25 inches
Calf : Change 15.5 inches
Hips : 39.5 inches
Neck : 12.75 inches
Biceps : 11.5 inches Forearm : 10 inches
Chest/Bust : 34.5 inches
Shoulder-to-Shoulder : 17 inches
Ring Size : 6 Men’s Pant Size : 30×30
Men’s Shirt Size : Xtra Small
Men’s Shoe Size : 10 1/2
Changes for Month 4 include:
Passing nearly 100% of the time
Voice not cracking Hair Growth around ankles/up legs
Hair around belly button
Hair growth above lips Blonde hair on face
Muscle Development in arms
Young male appearance
Dehydration
Skin Irritation from lack of moisture
Emotionally more secure with appearance