1 Year and 10 Months on Testosterone
August 7, 2006: 19 Months on Testosterone
This month has been more of a milestone mentally than physically. I have been feeling very positive about myself lately. I’m not sure how much of the change has to do with transition. Much of it is related to feeling physically ‘correct.’ I always pass for male and my body has taken some drastic turns in the last several months as far as build goes. This gives me a great sense of confidence. I’ve also been allowing myself to show frustration more than I used to. I’ve simplified my life down too and that always calms me down quite a bit.
Physically, that Hitler-shaped moustache is more pronounced but still not anything fantastic. There is more hair on my arms and everywhere else. Little-by-little I’m gaining more masculine features. My chest and arms are quite a bit more shapely too. My bicep when I’m not flexing. I am hoping to loose some of the fat on my upper arms so that the muscles become more pronounced. As I mentioned last month, the fat has come off my forearms.
September 7, 2006 : 20 Months on Testosterone
I’m actually doing this update late, so I’m trying to remember back to September. I do remember, however, that on September 2 I went over to my friend Jamie’s house. For the longest time I’d had a huge crush on her and we’d been flirting for almost three years. All-in-all, we started dating shortly after this September get together. Since that point in time she has been giving me my shots every ten days, whereas over the summer I’d been missing them constantly.
October 7 , 2006 : 21 Months on Testosterone
I figure it’s probably time for an update, being that its been forever since my last one.
Jesse and I broke up over the summer. I don’t think that the break up was neccesarily related to the transition. We both changed over the three years that we were together and I believe part of this was due to the fact that we were both so young. As far as how transition effected our relationship, I became much more self-confident and aware of my identification as male. Jesse was always the upperhand as far as masculine behavior went in the relationship and my transition forced on a role reversal that wasn’t comfortable for her. Nonetheless, we still get to see each other regularly and she seems to be doing very well.
Since our breakup I’ve become a very different person. Somewhere in there I feel like I have finally found out who I am, what I want, and where I hope to go. As a result of this, I’ve become quite the self-confident one.
I started dating again and I’ve been in a relationship with an friend of mine for just over a month now. Jamie is completely supportive and fun–I couldn’t brag enough about her. Because I’m such a wuss at giving myself my own shot, she has been my nurse every ten days. I couldn’t be in a better place right now and I honestly believe that her friendship has been the difference between being ok and being completely satisfied.
Now to the physical stuff. For about two months after Jess and I broke up, I was completely awful at taking my shot. This peaked at the point where my period returned, which was totally awful and a complete mindfuck. Imagine, I see myself as male at this point but all of a sudden there is that bright red reminder. Cough.
I returned back to my schedule and have been taking the shot every ten days as prescribed. Immediately my sex drive returned, I started to bulk up again, and my energy skyrocketed. To add to the changes, My forearms have started to get quite a bit of hair on them–to the point where others have noticed over the course of the last month. The hair over my upper lip relentlessly grows and is getting darker and more prominent week by week. Generally, I shave it off about every three days and by that point my face is all fuzzy…not that anyone notices, lol.